A few days ago I was talking to my sister. We were catching up on the family sagas- you know the usual ones: A la “the daughter of an aunt of my mothers talking about her sister-in-law’s niece in a fashionably jealous way”. I don’t remember what I said to my sister, but whatever I said must have been quite smart. Because she suddenly said “you seem ready for marriage!”
This breaking news made me immensely happy, but I got a little pre-occupied trying to decode my own words to see where all the wisdom lay. After spending a considerable number of years in this world, I have begun to take my brain-waves seriously. Apparently whatever I said implied that I understood all the undercurrents of a family conversation- a requisite skill if you are to marry. More so, I think I demonstrated my ability to breeze through a multi-dimensional conversation to get to the gist of it all. This skill is a must-have when talking to females close to you, I am told.
Oddly, this reminded me of a very old comedy skit in Shoaib Hashmi’s TV Program Taal Matol. Anybody who was born in the seventies would perhaps remember this “Handa Hubaalne Ki Tarkeeb” by Muneeza Hashmi. A humble note to those who haven’t heard of Shoaib Hashmi, please google him and Taal Matol, and you would probably come across his weekly column in the Encore section in The News on Sunday- and hopefully you would enjoy reading that too.
How do you boil an egg? This mystery, in my warped mind, sounds very close to the formula of “being ready for marriage”. The complexity, hear this, lies in the simplicity of it all. It is like anticipating climbing a mountain, anticipating reaching the peak, and then expecting to say “was that it?” This anticipation, of course, does not actually come to fruition in real life.
I think there is an inherent problem in this anticipation of satisfaction, or the lack of it, in marriage, much like in boiling of an egg. How the intrinsic satisfaction is derived from a boiled egg can have many faces. In some cases it is like delaying the high point in pleasure and saving the hard yolk for the last. In some cases, the pleasure lies in discovering that the egg actually turned out to be half-boiled, and the yolk had to be had first because of the runny nature of it. In some cases the boiled egg goes in the middle of two toasts and becomes a sandwich.
Now if this be the case, what is the point in anticipating? Or to begin with, what does being ready for marriage actually mean?
I think its all bullocks, and one is never ready for marriage and one always naturally settles into a numb state of mind called settling down. Or perhaps, to duly present a floppy flip-side, one is always ready for marriage- puberty being the only pre-requisite…
Do we care, or do we have a choice to but to live through and learn?
Don't think. There is no point to whatever I wrote.
Thursday, September 21, 2006
Saturday, September 09, 2006
Hey you, third from the corner, what do you do?
Today, I am going to write about what I do for money. I work on debt restructuring in large corporations listed on NYSE/FTSE and specialise in working under the strait-jacket of Sarbanes-Oxley regulations, primarily for the purpose of investments in new ventures.
Who am I joking? No one. Only myself.
I don't do the above hideous job and I pity those who do. I pity them because I keep wondering what do these people say when they are asked, "What do you do?"... Because saying what I just wrote would make anyone look like a young enthusiast trying to make it big in The Apprentice, and of course making a complete idiot of himself in the process. But I am surprised at the number of people who I come across who go describing their jobs in tedious, verbose, and useless ways. Although I should really not be surprised, because a reality program, after all, is based on reality.
This "What do you do?" can be a very annoying question at times. Although it is the most popular social ice-breaker, it carries the characteristics of snobbishness, pompousness, and self-righteousness. That too, all packed in to these plain and simple four words. I mean why would you ask me this question unless you are dying to tell me what you yourself do? Also, you wouldn’t even dare ask me this question if you felt shitty about your life 9 to 5. You would in that case perhaps make an effort at making it a wee bit more interesting after 5 and ask me a different question.
When I am asked this question, I usually politely respond in a way one is supposed to. What I really want to do most of the times is actually ask a series of questions in response: What do you mean what do I do, you mean what do I do for money? Why would you want to know that? Is your hand dying to feel the thickness or the lack of it of my wallet? Why are you not interested in knowing what I do when I am not doing what you think I do for money? What is that single digit that represents your IQ?
I do appreciate the fact that a lot of people are actually quite passionate about what they do for a living. I am too. I also believe this question can bring about a certain discussion that, funnily, brings people together. But then, should the question not be “what do you feel strongly about in life?” or some such stuff? Also, if someone feels strongly about restructuring of debt in large corporations, then the real question actually is what kind of toast did he/she have with breakfast.
But then the world does not work according to my principles and theories. In fact it does not mostly even agree with my opinions. I learnt to live with it ages ago, but I still crave a bit of fun when I am asked “What do you do?”…
“Usually flush away the toilet paper after use. Do not drink water during a meal. Do not have milk without some sort of flavor added to it. Yes, and I also struggle, almost always, with stupid conversations.”
Who am I joking? No one. Only myself.
I don't do the above hideous job and I pity those who do. I pity them because I keep wondering what do these people say when they are asked, "What do you do?"... Because saying what I just wrote would make anyone look like a young enthusiast trying to make it big in The Apprentice, and of course making a complete idiot of himself in the process. But I am surprised at the number of people who I come across who go describing their jobs in tedious, verbose, and useless ways. Although I should really not be surprised, because a reality program, after all, is based on reality.
This "What do you do?" can be a very annoying question at times. Although it is the most popular social ice-breaker, it carries the characteristics of snobbishness, pompousness, and self-righteousness. That too, all packed in to these plain and simple four words. I mean why would you ask me this question unless you are dying to tell me what you yourself do? Also, you wouldn’t even dare ask me this question if you felt shitty about your life 9 to 5. You would in that case perhaps make an effort at making it a wee bit more interesting after 5 and ask me a different question.
When I am asked this question, I usually politely respond in a way one is supposed to. What I really want to do most of the times is actually ask a series of questions in response: What do you mean what do I do, you mean what do I do for money? Why would you want to know that? Is your hand dying to feel the thickness or the lack of it of my wallet? Why are you not interested in knowing what I do when I am not doing what you think I do for money? What is that single digit that represents your IQ?
I do appreciate the fact that a lot of people are actually quite passionate about what they do for a living. I am too. I also believe this question can bring about a certain discussion that, funnily, brings people together. But then, should the question not be “what do you feel strongly about in life?” or some such stuff? Also, if someone feels strongly about restructuring of debt in large corporations, then the real question actually is what kind of toast did he/she have with breakfast.
But then the world does not work according to my principles and theories. In fact it does not mostly even agree with my opinions. I learnt to live with it ages ago, but I still crave a bit of fun when I am asked “What do you do?”…
“Usually flush away the toilet paper after use. Do not drink water during a meal. Do not have milk without some sort of flavor added to it. Yes, and I also struggle, almost always, with stupid conversations.”
Thursday, August 31, 2006
So then... it's not appropriate, is it?
You know how it is. Everyone comes around and says something to you doing something. As the adage goes, you can't keep all of the people happy all of the times. But then there are some disclaimers on how this can happen "some of the times" with some of the miserable lot. Bullocks, if you don't mind me english agricultural slang, this can not happen. Not some of the times, not even one single time.
Being politically correct was good manners when I was growing up. But when I grew up I realised it is just loads of pressure for nothing. Political correctness means being sensitive towards other people's issues. It becomes a joke when all you see around is issues- created, crafted, natural born, incidential, compulsive, inherited, historical, and some other types that are quite big issues in themselves.
Some people think that this opinion of mine is a bit cynical in nature. But then people have issues remember, emotional blindness and intellectual myopia being a few of these issues. We have already established that people are just a miserable lot anyway.
I don't mean to be anti or pro semitic here, cause I am not in the mood for a public apology today, but even the issue of Holocaust being over-rated is over-rated. It is so over-rated that when Mel Gibson got caught mumbling something against the jewish people, I immediately thought of the "Hugh Grant Incident" that led to our dear Ms. Hurley giving him a boot. Now these two incidents are not entirely similar in nature, you would rightly think. As one of them involved a prostitute and the other one was a plain simple car accident. A few things common were perhaps a celebrity, some alcohol, a car and a famous drive (Sunset Blvd versus Malibu- pick your choice). But you see what I mean, right? This is how passe these issues have become.
And don't even add Zidane, and Mr. Hair (famous cricket umpire who forfeited a cricket test match and created history) incidents to the list here. Inzimam was just completely insensitive to the seam and deserved every minute of those painful five he spent in the pavillion having a cup of tea protesting against the potentially racist behavior. And Zidane was just an idiot you know. I mean it was only his mother who was being abused- learn to live with it all you French sod!
You know the tribe I come from went through serious genocide in 1857. Read the Indian sub-continent history and the partition of 1947. Even the British version of the history would have some account of number of deaths and children and women dying etc. I have never been given any sympathy for that... I want public protection of my emotions, now. I demand that I be given the right to add this cross-generation emotional trauma to the list of current-and-always-alive issues of the world.
I also think that the Pol Pot victims should be given a global emotional refuge. Cambodia, after all, is a world heritage site and host to one of the wonders of the world. And over a million people died just because that bloody dictator was always stoned on the famous golden triangle grass. Remember, though, that all this happened right after the Americans finished their dinner in Vietnam and left without looking at who is sitting at the table next to them in the restaurant.
I start getting butterflies, ugly ones, in my stomach when I think of the issues that would come up in a few years' time in Afghanistan, Iraq and the rest of the Middle East, and as an obvious result, everywhere in Israel. I mean, you know, give me a break. How many issues would I have to tell to my next generation to be emotionally sensitive about?
I think I shall leave them to be completely insensitive. Because that's what these issues seem to be doing to us anyway, and why should I make one more issue out of this?
Being politically correct was good manners when I was growing up. But when I grew up I realised it is just loads of pressure for nothing. Political correctness means being sensitive towards other people's issues. It becomes a joke when all you see around is issues- created, crafted, natural born, incidential, compulsive, inherited, historical, and some other types that are quite big issues in themselves.
Some people think that this opinion of mine is a bit cynical in nature. But then people have issues remember, emotional blindness and intellectual myopia being a few of these issues. We have already established that people are just a miserable lot anyway.
I don't mean to be anti or pro semitic here, cause I am not in the mood for a public apology today, but even the issue of Holocaust being over-rated is over-rated. It is so over-rated that when Mel Gibson got caught mumbling something against the jewish people, I immediately thought of the "Hugh Grant Incident" that led to our dear Ms. Hurley giving him a boot. Now these two incidents are not entirely similar in nature, you would rightly think. As one of them involved a prostitute and the other one was a plain simple car accident. A few things common were perhaps a celebrity, some alcohol, a car and a famous drive (Sunset Blvd versus Malibu- pick your choice). But you see what I mean, right? This is how passe these issues have become.
And don't even add Zidane, and Mr. Hair (famous cricket umpire who forfeited a cricket test match and created history) incidents to the list here. Inzimam was just completely insensitive to the seam and deserved every minute of those painful five he spent in the pavillion having a cup of tea protesting against the potentially racist behavior. And Zidane was just an idiot you know. I mean it was only his mother who was being abused- learn to live with it all you French sod!
You know the tribe I come from went through serious genocide in 1857. Read the Indian sub-continent history and the partition of 1947. Even the British version of the history would have some account of number of deaths and children and women dying etc. I have never been given any sympathy for that... I want public protection of my emotions, now. I demand that I be given the right to add this cross-generation emotional trauma to the list of current-and-always-alive issues of the world.
I also think that the Pol Pot victims should be given a global emotional refuge. Cambodia, after all, is a world heritage site and host to one of the wonders of the world. And over a million people died just because that bloody dictator was always stoned on the famous golden triangle grass. Remember, though, that all this happened right after the Americans finished their dinner in Vietnam and left without looking at who is sitting at the table next to them in the restaurant.
I start getting butterflies, ugly ones, in my stomach when I think of the issues that would come up in a few years' time in Afghanistan, Iraq and the rest of the Middle East, and as an obvious result, everywhere in Israel. I mean, you know, give me a break. How many issues would I have to tell to my next generation to be emotionally sensitive about?
I think I shall leave them to be completely insensitive. Because that's what these issues seem to be doing to us anyway, and why should I make one more issue out of this?
Friday, August 18, 2006
The Quotations Meme - with a petite twist.
As seen over at "Reassigned Time". How does it work? Go to www.quotationspage.com and look through random quotes until you find 5 that you think reflect who you are or what you believe.
I had to keep clicking on the "search again" feature till I came to 5 that seemed to fit. Here are mine with 2 additional quotations thrown in - that's the twist folks i.e. 7 instead of 5. Why 7? I saw a couple more that I liked and had a Goldilocks moment reading them. Plus I kind of like the number '7' more than '5' - yes sounds complete bizarre I know but humor me:
1. "Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one." Jane Howard.
2. "Fall seven times, stand up eight." Japanese Proverb.
3. "There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who, when presented with a glass that is exactly half full, say: this glass is half full. And then there are those who say: this glass is half empty. The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!" Terry Pratchett.
4. "I am as bad as the worst, but, thank God, I am as good as the best." Walt Whitman.
5. "Happiness comes of the capacity to feel deeply, to enjoy simply, to think freely, to risk life, to be needed." Storm Jameson.
6. "In the right light, at the right time, everything is extraordinary." Aaron Rose.
7. "I am careful not to confuse excellence with perfection. Excellence, I can reach for; perfection is God's business." Michael J. Fox.
Asad, your turn. Also, I'd like to tag Elizabeth, Jenny, Priya, Dr. Mon, the folks over at the 'I & I' group and anyone else reading this post who has a blog and/or would like to include their list in the comments section of this blog.
PS: Yup a more substantive post than memes and quizzes will follow soon....life has been frazzled and my writing energies have been wholly invested in finishing a dissertation chapter that I had nicknamed The Beast. [happy dance here]. Once I catch my breath and reward myself for finishing (yuppers, indulgence is my middle name) I promise to post something a bit more reflective.
I had to keep clicking on the "search again" feature till I came to 5 that seemed to fit. Here are mine with 2 additional quotations thrown in - that's the twist folks i.e. 7 instead of 5. Why 7? I saw a couple more that I liked and had a Goldilocks moment reading them. Plus I kind of like the number '7' more than '5' - yes sounds complete bizarre I know but humor me:
1. "Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one." Jane Howard.
2. "Fall seven times, stand up eight." Japanese Proverb.
3. "There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who, when presented with a glass that is exactly half full, say: this glass is half full. And then there are those who say: this glass is half empty. The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!" Terry Pratchett.
4. "I am as bad as the worst, but, thank God, I am as good as the best." Walt Whitman.
5. "Happiness comes of the capacity to feel deeply, to enjoy simply, to think freely, to risk life, to be needed." Storm Jameson.
6. "In the right light, at the right time, everything is extraordinary." Aaron Rose.
7. "I am careful not to confuse excellence with perfection. Excellence, I can reach for; perfection is God's business." Michael J. Fox.
Asad, your turn. Also, I'd like to tag Elizabeth, Jenny, Priya, Dr. Mon, the folks over at the 'I & I' group and anyone else reading this post who has a blog and/or would like to include their list in the comments section of this blog.
PS: Yup a more substantive post than memes and quizzes will follow soon....life has been frazzled and my writing energies have been wholly invested in finishing a dissertation chapter that I had nicknamed The Beast. [happy dance here]. Once I catch my breath and reward myself for finishing (yuppers, indulgence is my middle name) I promise to post something a bit more reflective.
Friday, August 04, 2006
Friday Quiz-Blogging: Being Lady-Like?
For some inexplicable reason I now have Jerry Lewis' voice going off in my head saying "lady".....very annoying if you can't get it out of your head and are about to sit down and write about things related to Wittgenstein. Where do I fall on the scale of Lady-Hood?
Now of course this quiz was taken purely for amusement purposes. But I wonder what we mean when we say someone is lady-like or not, or to what extent. Won't that vary across time, space, cultures, etc? Okay incoming blast from the past: I wrote my M.A. thesis on the ways in which women construct their personal identity and understanding of 'womanhood' more generally speaking. Not the same thing as lady-like but in the same very broad vein. Any readers/fellow-bloggers interested in commenting about what they think is lady-like and what isn't?
For now, I'll bask in the glory of being defined as refined, possessing excellent manners, and not too uptight/serious. Although I think I do get uptight at times about manners/protocol related things but I reckon that isn't just about being a 'lady'. Is it just me or is the picture of the "lady" in my results a bit disturbing - kind of like a slut in a bad '80s film? Yikes....okay there goes the basking! Back to work.
[Hey Asad: why don't you take this quiz too, just for pure kicks :-)?]
| You Are 68% Lady |
 Overall, you are a refined lady with excellent manners. But you also know when to relax and not get too serious about etiquette |
Now of course this quiz was taken purely for amusement purposes. But I wonder what we mean when we say someone is lady-like or not, or to what extent. Won't that vary across time, space, cultures, etc? Okay incoming blast from the past: I wrote my M.A. thesis on the ways in which women construct their personal identity and understanding of 'womanhood' more generally speaking. Not the same thing as lady-like but in the same very broad vein. Any readers/fellow-bloggers interested in commenting about what they think is lady-like and what isn't?
For now, I'll bask in the glory of being defined as refined, possessing excellent manners, and not too uptight/serious. Although I think I do get uptight at times about manners/protocol related things but I reckon that isn't just about being a 'lady'. Is it just me or is the picture of the "lady" in my results a bit disturbing - kind of like a slut in a bad '80s film? Yikes....okay there goes the basking! Back to work.
[Hey Asad: why don't you take this quiz too, just for pure kicks :-)?]
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
More about 'it'....
So what is this 'it' of which Asad and I will be speaking in our blog posts? 'It' could be anything from the zany to the brainy, the ordinary to the extraordinary, the insipid to the profound. In other words, anything and everything that affects our being, our lives .... from chocolate cravings (in case you're curious I vote for Anthon Berg ones - my major guilty pleasure) to significant relationships to negotiating our identities as belonging to at least two distinct geographical/territorial spaces to ramblings about our favorite "Mad About You" episodes.
Why blog about it publicly rather than engaging in hour-long phone conversations between us two?
1. Life's gotten crazy. That's complicated by the fact that Asad can be found in a corner of the world that lies in the GMT zone whereas I conduct the business of my daily living on EST (Eastern Standard Time, in case you don't recognize it). Blogging about things we can't always pick up the phone to chat about with each other - and others in our lives - is a kind of substitute if you will.
2. This one is probably numero uno. Since the last century, we've both been threatening to work on a collaborative project of some kind....usually a coffee table book or a documentary are the two forms of expression that tend to capture our fancy. That hasn't happened yet but this perhaps might be one way of getting there or where we get to instead of going there. Time will tell.
3. Asad, in his post-MBA avatar, felt the need for some kind of mental/intellectual stimulation that can only be had by writing. I, Bionic-Woman*, felt the need to write about something else other than my Ph.D. dissertation. Posts about the sleaze-ball at the bar or the heavenly cookie might not seem all that profound but we believe that even those get us someplace; if nothing else, we've engaged in writing about an experience of some kind.
So, in that spirit, welcome to our home on the blogosphere, in Blogistan if you prefer that term.
Let the blogging begin!
[*Yes I'm sticking with holding on to some measure of anonymity if you don't already know me in "real life" - IRL as the kids call it.]
Why blog about it publicly rather than engaging in hour-long phone conversations between us two?
1. Life's gotten crazy. That's complicated by the fact that Asad can be found in a corner of the world that lies in the GMT zone whereas I conduct the business of my daily living on EST (Eastern Standard Time, in case you don't recognize it). Blogging about things we can't always pick up the phone to chat about with each other - and others in our lives - is a kind of substitute if you will.
2. This one is probably numero uno. Since the last century, we've both been threatening to work on a collaborative project of some kind....usually a coffee table book or a documentary are the two forms of expression that tend to capture our fancy. That hasn't happened yet but this perhaps might be one way of getting there or where we get to instead of going there. Time will tell.
3. Asad, in his post-MBA avatar, felt the need for some kind of mental/intellectual stimulation that can only be had by writing. I, Bionic-Woman*, felt the need to write about something else other than my Ph.D. dissertation. Posts about the sleaze-ball at the bar or the heavenly cookie might not seem all that profound but we believe that even those get us someplace; if nothing else, we've engaged in writing about an experience of some kind.
So, in that spirit, welcome to our home on the blogosphere, in Blogistan if you prefer that term.
Let the blogging begin!
[*Yes I'm sticking with holding on to some measure of anonymity if you don't already know me in "real life" - IRL as the kids call it.]
Thursday, July 27, 2006
Why?
So yeah, why should we? As in, "learn to live with it"?
And why is this blog called "Learn to Live with it"... There is a story behind it. Actually, there are quite a few stories behind it. But those are not to be told for now, I am sure we would get a chance to in the coming posts.
First of all, we are not preaching this as an attitude- as in we are not telling the readers to learn to live with whatever "it" is. In fact, we are not even talking to ourselves when we say this. This is more like a thought that post-rationalises our silly decisions during the course of certain events that didn't make much sense or difference in our lives, yet looked significantly earth-shattering when they happened.
In a way then, you might say, that the title should have been "Learnt to live with it".
No.
Why?
Because we haven't.
And why is this blog called "Learn to Live with it"... There is a story behind it. Actually, there are quite a few stories behind it. But those are not to be told for now, I am sure we would get a chance to in the coming posts.
First of all, we are not preaching this as an attitude- as in we are not telling the readers to learn to live with whatever "it" is. In fact, we are not even talking to ourselves when we say this. This is more like a thought that post-rationalises our silly decisions during the course of certain events that didn't make much sense or difference in our lives, yet looked significantly earth-shattering when they happened.
In a way then, you might say, that the title should have been "Learnt to live with it".
No.
Why?
Because we haven't.
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