The Berlitz Commercial via YouTube

A hearty chuckle for a crazy time of year!

Neither here nor there i.e. no additional reflections. Just something a friend shared yesterday that had me in splits. Enjoy :-)!

Emma

The subject tonight is the UK Asian Music Awards, or UK AMA. If you are not a British Asian you would pronounce it as plain three letters i.e. as a, m, a. But if you are then you would call it “Emma”. How AMA came to sound like Emma is not a mystery. It is partly due to the typical Asian British way of emphasising consonants before the vowels. This pronunciation is completely absurd and is confusing- if you register my complaint. Partly, I guess it is just to join the elite family of Tony, Oscar and others.

One thing you need to keep in mind is that the term Asian here primarily refers to us Pakistanis and Indians, and has no reference whatsoever to the rest of Asia. It feels good to know that we are at least dominating the biggest continent, innit?

So I was privileged to be present at the UK Emma last Wednesday at the Hammersmith Palais in London. The moment I entered the arena I realised how divorced I am from the British Asian life. I am an Asian by their definition, and I live in London but I still am not a part of this particular race, and it is a race.

Gone are the days when this generation used to be called the BBCDs. They have come quite far, and actually do now know who they are. Interestingly, their newly found identities look and sound surprisingly similar to Jamaicans and other variants of cool black crowd. They have so far kept the mingling of genes out of this complex racially-hybrid behavioural matrix, but everything else around them is just a combination of things Indian, Pakistani, and “yo mama, ‘sup?” in nature. Their music, their dresses, the accents and their choice of partners are a complete reflection of this new identity. I wonder what the reason behind this lifestyle is, though I do certainly and completely appreciate and understand the power of the anti-white sentiment that comes with this coalition of mindsets and cultures per se.

The evening was grand. The set, performances, and the jokes on stage- all came with a strong and unique cultural signature. That signature heightened the sense of divide that exists in the British Asian Youth. Now given that media often go on about the rise of religious fundamentalism in the youth’s attitudes, this brave and liberal tone of the youth was worth reconciling with.

While the “Emma” attitude (for the lack of a better term) is quite refreshing, its ability to shock people is quite big at the same time. Established strongly as the voice of youth, the tone is received with a raised eyebrow in quarters that are alien to it- parents, people of the original race back in India and Pakistan, and the scattered nay self-righteous critics of our culture (like myself)- all included.

I heard a lot of voices criticise what was around, I had a few comments too. However, it would be meaningless and futile to criticise this attitude and behaviour in a traditional framework. It is not a traditional phenomenon and should not be put in traditional context. What is worth having, however, is a cultural dialogue with this youth – something that we do not seem to be doing, be it within families, or socially, or even on media. This would also have to be in their language – the Emma language. Mind the accent while you learn to live with the South Asian Jamaicans please.

You would be able to watch the Emma on TV- just in case you were reading to find out more about the show. Why would you think that would happen in this blog?

December 1?!

Oh My God! It's December already?! Can someone tell me where 2006 went?

Is anybody else feeling this way or it just me by panicking by myself in a teeny-tiny corner? Someone please join me!

Please? Pretty Please....come on don't make me beg.

Birthday Trivia?

Wow, scary precise. That doesn't mean I know what to do with the lightening bolt except imagine myself as a Greek goddess.

Tag you're it - Asad I mean you.

Your Birthdate: January 3

You are more than a big ball of energy - you are a big ball of hyper. You are always on the go, but you don't have a type a personality. Instead of channeling your energy into work, you instead go for fun and adventure. Witty and verbal, you can have an interesting conversation with anyone. Your strength: Your larger than life imagination Your weakness: You tend to be pretty scattered Your power color: Lime Your power symbol: Lightening bolt Your power month: March

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

A Different "Happily Ever After"

I'm not sure whom to give citation credit for this one but I got it from a friend who got it from another friend...you know how the chain goes. I was going to write (read: technically rant) a post about marriage related stuff that's come up in conversations with some of my gal-pals and, inevitably, annoying relatives but this one just begged to be shared:

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl "Will you marry me?"

The girl said, "NO!"

And the girl lived happily ever after and went shopping, dancing, camping, drank martinis, always had a clean house, never had to cook, had sex with whomever she pleased... did whatever the hell she wanted, never argued, didn't get fat, travelled more, had many boyfriends, saved more money, and had all the hot water to herself. She watched chick flicks, never football, never wore frickin' lacy lingerie that went up her ass, had high self esteem, never cried or yelled, felt and looked fabulous in sweat pants, and burped, swore, and farted all the time.!!!

[Personal Disclaimer: nopes I don't hate men and wouldn't mind finding Msr. Almost-Perfect and put on the "wife" hat...but if I keep meeting the men I have I'd rather live it up like this gal - sans the farting, swearing, burping bits that neither sound all that pleasant nor are aspirational - since I just can't quite wrap my brains around "shaadi" in the abstract like some folks I know but more in that in another post].

Baby Steps

This half of LTLWI (Learn To Live With It!) has had ample time to ponder over lots of stuff for the past 2 weeks, especially the last week when I was prescribed bed rest. Posts on these forthcoming over the next few weeks as and when I get a chance

One of the things that occupied my attention most was how times have changed - probably because I was trying to de-stress in order to recuperate as per the doctor's orders and strict parental warnings :-). When I think about the time my grandparents' were in their 20s or 30s the visual that pops into my head is that of a group of people gathered together for an evening dinner, relaxed yet animated with their unique verve and gusto...perhaps a light cool breeze blowing through the windows sans noise or any other kind of pollution. When I think about my parents generation in the same age the visual is quite similar with perhaps some technological gadgets thrown in. When I think about the generation to which I belong I see an individual walking hurriedly on a generic Manhattan street, juggling a cup of coffee so huge that it would equal the amount consumed by a family of 3-4 in the days of yore, answering a perpetually ringing cell phone, looking frazzled...kind of like those scenes in music videos or ads where everybody else on the street is a blur but the individual on whom the focus is appears almost crystal clear.

As I continue pondering over this visual, what strikes me most is that my generation is so busy taking huge leaps all day but the scale of achievements is fairly limited when compared to the kinds of achievements that those of my parents and grandparents tribe can boast of. What do I mean? I'll take myself as an example - I think my most significant achievement to date will probably be completing my Ph.D. at the end of this year (Inshallah). When I think about what my parents had done when they reached my age I hear stories about raising a daughter; taking care of their families; running successful businesses; excelling in their jobs/careers; having time to spend with their families (which was almost always an extended family beyond the statistical parents and 2.5 kids unit); as well as initiating and becoming involved in civil society movements that created not just waves, politically speaking, but concrete change...whether that was challenging military governments in power or unionizing students. When I hear about the kinds of things that filled my grandparents' younger days I'm even more amazed: they went to work/school; organized huge gatherings with family and friends using even the littlest, most inconsequential excuses to do something; raised kids; enjoyed the environment in which they lived; and in between all of this they participated in a movement that created a nation (Pakistan) and uprooted themselves lock, stock, and barrel to come live in this new home. And here I am running around frazzled trying to accomplish nothing nearly as momentous but so incredibly busy and stressed out that I've landed myself in bed, insanely sick. Yes my dissertation involves writing about stuff related to the nation that my grandparents and parents have helped build and shape respectively but clearly the task is nowhere close to the same magnitude. Yet for some reason, for the last 3-4 years, I find myself freaking out at the prospect of taking time out for Eid or around New Years or when it's someone's birthday and there's a dinner planned because I just can't let myself stop lest one of the balls I'm juggling doesn't stay up in the air and falls to the ground. [To be fair though, most deadlines I've faced seem to clash with other stuff...of course maybe I need to plan ahead and procrastinate less...or maybe reorganize the way in which I keep those balls up in the air without breaking into a sweat which is what this post is about.]

Not that my attitude is representative of everyone I know; similarly not everyone is doing the things my parents or grandparents did. The example is meant more to illustrate the irony that folks from my generation are always busy taking huge leaps, completely stressed out, expressing their frustration and fatigue; contrast that with the other two generations and they did so much and all with so much panache, so much elan. It's not the scale of accomplishments that I'm trying to compare; the ntent is certainly not to preach that we need to start serving a purpose larger than us - perhaps in another post ;-). Rather, in contrasting the two I'm just trying to highlight the fact that those folks didn't get as frazzled even with so much on their plates.

What's changed? Lots but the thing that stood out the most for me was what I call the "baby steps" factor. My parents' and grandparents' generation did a lot because they were trying to do a little each day. An hour here, an hour there, a dash of 15 minutes for something else. My generation tries to take gigantic leaps in a whole bunch of things and where do we land? If you're me, then in bed because the madness needed to stop. If we're trying to lose weight, it's the latest diet fad or pill that promises a miraculous 15-20 lbs in mere days rather than a healthier loss of 3-5 lbs every month through diet and exercise. If we're writing a film, it has to be the best darn film that covers everything and then some re: the subject it's about. If we're going to be good parents we think it has to be at the expense of everything else, every other role we could and/or want to play in life...and thus you have marriages breaking up because parents, in trying to be good mothers and fathers, have forgotten that they're also spouses - you have resentful stay-at-home moms or working mothers each of whom thinks she's failing somehow...and the list goes on.

I've heard friends blame everything from the quality of nutrition to living in more demanding times for our state of mind today. Maybe those also play a role but I really think that the main problem is that there's so many sprints packed into our day as we run around trying to get things done working our way up and down our list of priorities that we just don't know how to run a marathon (i.e. do everything with as much grace, as much elegance, as much flair as our parents and grandparents) - in fact, we'd probably collapse!

Consider this: when we learnt to walk as kids we started off crawling, onwards to standing up straight while holding on to things and others, then standing on our own, then walking holding on to someone else's fingers and other things, and, eventually, to managing to waddle before we progressed to what we recognize as a "normal walk". Literally, baby steps and not a race against time!

So here's my resolution: I'm going to take steady baby steps rather than mammoth leaps. IMHO, this is probably more conducive to a more fulfilling state of being. I'd rather picture myself in a relaxed social setting where I can actually see faces as opposed to a busy street crawling with people that remain faceless even if I try to peer harder.

Check back with me in about 4 weeks to make sure that I meant what I said and it isn't just the boredom that inevitably accompanies social confinement aka bed rest.

Perhaps you'd like to try it too...i.e. "baby steps", not the "in bed" bit?

[FYI: Copyright information for the image in this post: Copyright ©2006 by freebabypictures.net]

How apropos!

I subscribe to this "quote/thought of the day" type service. I thought that the one that was delivered to my inbox today was particularly suited to this blog, i.e. the attitude both Asad and I tend to have 99.9999% of the time, so I thought I'd share. Of course this is more gingerly stated than our "Learn To Live With It" bit....po-tay-to, po-tah-to, to-may-to, to-mah-to, either way:

"Your life becomes the thing you have decided it shall be." – Raymond Charles Barker

I couldn't nod my head more vigorously if I tried! In fact, this could be my personal mantra. I think it also explains why I have an extremely limited amount of patience with folks who complain endlessly about stuff that happens to them without taking charge and working towards changing things. Yup I believe in destiny, I know and can see that shit happens but I also believe in handling things gracefully and making lemonade out of lemons. So for all you sitting there in neutral, I say shift gears and shake things up for the better.

[In case you're curious, here's a brief bio blurb about Barker from the e-mail I received: Raymond Charles Barker was an influential American minister and author in the mid-twentieth century. He wrote such books as The Power of Decision and Treat Yourself to Life, on ways to change subconscious patterns. He became president of the International New Thought Alliance in 1943, a group practicing the religious philosophy developed in the late 1800's by Phineas Quimby, with early proponents including Ralph Waldo Emerson. Unity Church and Divine Science are among its later offshoots.]