"This is one of my favorite things"...about spring that is.

Breezy, warm, uplifting sunny goodness...that's spring.

One of my favorite things about spring - yellow flowers, particularly daffodils since they mark the beginning of the season in all their brightness and cheeriness. I must add that I have a particular affinity for yellow flowers any time of the year - period :-).

Although spring started last month - officially that is - it's only this week that we're enjoying spring-like temperatures. So to mark the *real* beginning of spring on this blog, a picture of the spring's first daffodils I got as a present a couple of weeks ago (thanks again Marian!).

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

Or, rather, "Hair on Wednesday, Gone Thursday". I've been craving a major change and was getting bored of my look. Hence the drastic measures i.e. chopping off 9 inches of my hair.

Although I like the (relative) anonymity this blog affords me I figured a little pictorial evidence might be nice. So here are two pictures that retain the anonymity but show the change in my crowning glory as it were. The first one is of the haircut I had last winter which grew till the longest layer was down to my elbows and the shortest was about shoulder length. The second is the new 'do.








How do I feel? Like a-whole-new-bionic :-). I feel fabulous. I feel spring-like. I feel like a whole new woman.

If any of you need to mix it up, I highly recommend tending to your follicles and going for a not-so-subtle-change.

Update from the Professorial Trenches

I haven't blogged again about how the "tomorrow" that had me nervous in my previous blog post panned out. My bad! Long story short, it's been trying, taxing, and draining but last Wednesday (i.e. April 9) I finally had a class session in which I was able to create some space for a through and through productive conversation with the help of the rest of the class. I'd been making an effort to steer the conversation subtly but I think Wednesday was the first time I decided to use my authority more definitively with respect to the discussion and not just enforcing rules. I have to say it felt good.

This doesn't mean that the two trouble-makers have been reformed but, rather, made painfully aware of the ridiculous unsubstantiated drivel they have been spewing venomously since mid-February. Our class is built around a specific analytical framework which neither of those two have attempted to read, much less understand. Granted they joined the class late but making up the material they missed was their responsibility as I clarified explicitly. One of the students tends to respond better one-on-one during office hours and the subsequent class sees him performing better. The other one continues to miss making appointments, hasn't submitted anything, and is clearly failing the course. I've also just been informed by one of the Associate Deans that both students are 'problem cases' in that other professors on campus have had similar issues with them. Although that makes me feel somewhat better, part of me wishes that I'd known this in advance in order to have adjusted my pedagogical strategies much more quickly and perhaps even more pro-actively.

But back to last Wedneday. Students came to see me during my office hours to let me know how grateful they were for what I did during that class. Of course, my intervention was only possible in the larger context of previous ones but this one felt final. That the students who had, over the weeks, shied away from the conversation with the exception of making remarks here and there now became actively involved feels like a triumph. This is not to say I'm the only one responsible but I did try to actively engineer that and I'm glad it worked.

Am I feeling less despondent? You bet. For those of you who e-mailed, called, or shared their comments - that was certainly enough to make me feel cheery and cared for. Thanks muchly for sharing your thought as well as for your support and concern.

[PS: "You know who" - a blog post is forthcoming in response to your comments on my previous blog-post]

The festeringly ugly, the heart-warming good, and the making-me-giddy-with-excitement best: my tomorrow in a nutshell

It's students and papers like this that are continuing to sap my energy. How's that for an opening sentence? I'd rant but I really need to go to sleep to wake up bright and early tomorrow morning. For now, the short version is that I have 2 horribly racist kids in my morning class on religion in contemporary global politics. That they're disruptive makes this particularly problematic. We've had a verbal explosion in class and students have complained about their behavior. I've tried to tackle it and the class discussions seem to be working better now that I've explicitly addressed their disruptive behavior after repeated attempts of steering them subtly. Of course, although I loathe pessimism, I'm being realistic when I say that this is no guarantee that this will stick. Their written work, on the other hand, continues to be ranty rather than analytical. That they continue to be in denial about this is making this all the more challenging in terms of dealing with them. Am I up to the challenge? Yes - and I also don't think I have a choice so I guess I'm not up to it because I'm dedicated or committed but because I'm trying to conduct myself professionally. Am I dreading tomorrow? Yes - because I've returned everything with feedback and these kids are going to be disgruntled. One of them has already made an appointment to come and see me. That both of them have a tendency to get loud and agitated means I'm really not looking forward to this. One of my colleagues asked if I've been feeling fearful for my safety. I didn't know how to answer that one. I think I'll be okay but I am somewhat fearful given the kinds of opinions these students have expressed and their general behavior. I am literally counting days till the semester is over and I'm done with my present teaching commitment. It's been the most bizarre mix of the best and worst students I've encountered since I started teaching in 1999. I've handled difficult students before but it's an entirely different ballgame when they spout venomous hatred for your kind repeatedly by which I mean in terms of faith, gender, and age.

As much as I detest grading for being so time-consuming, one of the things that frustrates me most about the academic life is that some students aren't there to learn and it's hard not to take it personally when you put in so much effort to help their learning process. I think it's easier to deal with if they're sitting there tuned out but not so much if the manner in which they engage is inappropriate and unproductive.

So I'm apprehensive about tomorrow. Particularly, 11 am - 2 pm is going to be nerve-wracking and frustrating...color me despondent about this :-(. Although my afternoon class is fantastic so I guess the day will get better.
The great news that has me genuinely excited about tomorrow: my grandparents are flying in from Pakistan and I can't wait to see them.