Thursday, January 24, 2008
Vacations for Academics: I'm so on board!
Folks I know who work outside of academia are often envious at the thought that I supposedly have a 3 months long summer break and a month off during winter. Ummm...break? What's that like exactly? Conventionally defined these are periods of time in which you get to take time off from work and simply breathe. For us academics, it seems to be periods of time when teaching obligations wane so that you rush to get the next article/book/research project completed while you don't have to show up to teach. Not that it isn't fascinating to be able to tap into your creativity to produce research but when exactly does one get to live their life without being consumed by student e-mails, lecture preps, conferences, meetings, grading, reading, and writing? Linked above (to the title) is an article from today's Chronicle by Mary Werner. I'm not sure if the author suggests this in jest but I sure like the idea of having someone cover my class or assigning some research work or having my students watch a film while I'm away - not because I'm ill or because I have professional obligations that conflict with my class times but because I'm taking an actual vacation. Kind of like the way it works outside academia where people who work take time off to go away without their work lives falling apart.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Of inspirations and perhaps even something like momentum
So between the 3 blog posts from today and, more importantly, finishing a (read: another and potentially final) draft of the introduction to the dissertation that I wrote and then revised all in one afternoon I'm feeling like "The Productive Writer /Dissertator That Could". Thanks are due here especially to Naeem for his comments on the previous post that gave me that "itching-to-write" feeling. I feel like I can write more...not right now perhaps because I have also prepared 2 lectures for my classes tomorrow and I think I've earned the right to take a break. Well I would've taken one irrespective but this way there isn't any guilt involved.
But I digress. What I wanted to say was that today was the first day in a l-o-n-g while that writing/dissertating didn't feel painful to the point of questioning why I was in this to begin with. So, yay :-)! I want to say that I think this might have its own momentum - well at least potentially - but I won't go so far only because my Mondays and Wednesdays are hijacked by "professoring". Although I want to try and sneak something in - just the feeling is nice enough. Especially since I get to move on to the next chapter. Plus I think sticking to breaking up dissertating into a small manageable task and using the comments I received from a friend to edit the version of the intro I finished earlier in the afternoon even though I really wanted to take a break feels darn good right now. That one of my committee members described what I finished today as "enticing" is of course icing on the cake :-).
I think it's true what they say and what the author Madeleine L'Engle has summarized beautifully. To quote her, "Inspiration usually comes during work, rather than before it." Writing and rewriting the intro helped lend clarity to the overall argument of the dissertation - I've been visualizing my argument that way for a couple of weeks now but just hadn't really written it all out. Which means that I kept opening new files (Word and iPod Voice Memos) without completing thoughts all the way through. This time I didn't let myself stop - and I think that happened because there were other folks involved in the process as I mentioned above. So what was somewhat fuzzy suddenly became clear - precisely because I kept working at it.
So, momentum does and can work...now let's hope I can keep at it for a while longer especially since I'll be traveling Friday and Saturday. In other words, the timetable is ambitious but so am I :-). Stay tuned for updates.
But I digress. What I wanted to say was that today was the first day in a l-o-n-g while that writing/dissertating didn't feel painful to the point of questioning why I was in this to begin with. So, yay :-)! I want to say that I think this might have its own momentum - well at least potentially - but I won't go so far only because my Mondays and Wednesdays are hijacked by "professoring". Although I want to try and sneak something in - just the feeling is nice enough. Especially since I get to move on to the next chapter. Plus I think sticking to breaking up dissertating into a small manageable task and using the comments I received from a friend to edit the version of the intro I finished earlier in the afternoon even though I really wanted to take a break feels darn good right now. That one of my committee members described what I finished today as "enticing" is of course icing on the cake :-).
I think it's true what they say and what the author Madeleine L'Engle has summarized beautifully. To quote her, "Inspiration usually comes during work, rather than before it." Writing and rewriting the intro helped lend clarity to the overall argument of the dissertation - I've been visualizing my argument that way for a couple of weeks now but just hadn't really written it all out. Which means that I kept opening new files (Word and iPod Voice Memos) without completing thoughts all the way through. This time I didn't let myself stop - and I think that happened because there were other folks involved in the process as I mentioned above. So what was somewhat fuzzy suddenly became clear - precisely because I kept working at it.
So, momentum does and can work...now let's hope I can keep at it for a while longer especially since I'll be traveling Friday and Saturday. In other words, the timetable is ambitious but so am I :-). Stay tuned for updates.
4 Dissertating Roadblocks
As far as I can tell, I run, rather than walk, to the nearest exit when I find myself in one of these 4 situations while dissertating:
1. Is there a "big picture"?: I know there is one but I have no clue how to put the individual pieces together so that the picture looks like I actually connected all the dots.
2. Data-mining: I know what I want to say. I know that I have "data" that helps me say it. But (you knew there was one right?) the sheer thought of going through it all to get it back in pristine form such that all the dots connect (see #1 above) seems like more than I can handle. And no, the thought of doing it bit by bit doesn't help. Why? See #3 below.
3. Me, myself and who?: When I sit down I feel like I must accomplish it all. I'm not sure why that is but I suspect that the fear of not being able to come back. For me sitting down to start is definitely the harder task because I need for there to be pin drop silence and complete peace and quiet when I write or else I lose my thoughts. What's the problem here you ask? Well I actually enjoy being around people and the solitude that I require to write well is clearly depressing. One-off situations are fine but dissertating requires regular and extended periods of these.
4. The Balancing Act: there are some ideas that I can only express in long-winded fashion. I fear I don't know how to zip them. Others I don't know how to unzip; I can only express them in compact form. I suspect this has something to do with the fact that I live in my own brain. I know how I got there and I'm usually rushing to make the point without realizing that sometimes people have to be walked through the idea. [Relevant aside: I think I have this problem while presenting at conferences and in teaching as well. Primarily because I find the pace of academia too rushed at times...well not academia in general but the academic configurations I often happen to occupy. Most folks are able to speak in convincing soundbytes. Here my British training comes into play. I'd like to dwell for a while. I need percolation. I can't always figure it out "in the moment". I need time to process. Unfortunately, things don't always work this way.] Either way, the packing and unpacking is tedious. It would be nice to strike the right balance in the first try some of the time at least.
I suspect some or all of these strike a chord non-dissertators as well. Anyone in the blogosphere want to commiserate or, better yet, perhaps offer suggestions?
1. Is there a "big picture"?: I know there is one but I have no clue how to put the individual pieces together so that the picture looks like I actually connected all the dots.
2. Data-mining: I know what I want to say. I know that I have "data" that helps me say it. But (you knew there was one right?) the sheer thought of going through it all to get it back in pristine form such that all the dots connect (see #1 above) seems like more than I can handle. And no, the thought of doing it bit by bit doesn't help. Why? See #3 below.
3. Me, myself and who?: When I sit down I feel like I must accomplish it all. I'm not sure why that is but I suspect that the fear of not being able to come back. For me sitting down to start is definitely the harder task because I need for there to be pin drop silence and complete peace and quiet when I write or else I lose my thoughts. What's the problem here you ask? Well I actually enjoy being around people and the solitude that I require to write well is clearly depressing. One-off situations are fine but dissertating requires regular and extended periods of these.
4. The Balancing Act: there are some ideas that I can only express in long-winded fashion. I fear I don't know how to zip them. Others I don't know how to unzip; I can only express them in compact form. I suspect this has something to do with the fact that I live in my own brain. I know how I got there and I'm usually rushing to make the point without realizing that sometimes people have to be walked through the idea. [Relevant aside: I think I have this problem while presenting at conferences and in teaching as well. Primarily because I find the pace of academia too rushed at times...well not academia in general but the academic configurations I often happen to occupy. Most folks are able to speak in convincing soundbytes. Here my British training comes into play. I'd like to dwell for a while. I need percolation. I can't always figure it out "in the moment". I need time to process. Unfortunately, things don't always work this way.] Either way, the packing and unpacking is tedious. It would be nice to strike the right balance in the first try some of the time at least.
I suspect some or all of these strike a chord non-dissertators as well. Anyone in the blogosphere want to commiserate or, better yet, perhaps offer suggestions?
Umm...age also lies in the eyes of the beholder?
This academic year (2007-2008) I have a visiting professor gig at what would be safe to label "Dream University"....the students and colleagues are both as close as one could possibly get to having one's "wish-list" met. The spring semester started last week so we're currently in the second week of classes at this point. There are still some students for whom this week will be the first time they go to a class since they were in the process of figuring out their schedules.[Relevant aside: I hate it when students join past the first class for the only reason that by the second class we've gotten down to business. Of course there isn't a familiar rhythm just yet but they end up missing the "this is the analytic we're working with" spiel which means they're going to be somewhat lost for a while which will then influence the "discussion" which is particularly critical this time round since both my classes are seminars rather than lectures.]
In my morning class (I'm teaching 2 new preps this semester), I had 2 newbies walk in for the first time. Usually, I walk in right when class is beginning or a couple of minutes later. However, yesterday I had a DVD to set up for us to watch in class so I arrived early. There were a few students in there already so we started chatting about lots of different stuff. Enter NewKid#1 - he looks completely unsure if he's in the right place. We confirm that he is. He takes a seat. As I'm talking to the students, it's pretty obvious he realizes only then that I'm the professor. Umm I thought it was kind of obvious perhaps even self-evident. Oh well. We start class and NewKid#2 walks in as one of the students is in the midst of making a comment. NewKid#2 looks like he's just woken up and walked straight to class - not that I am being judgmental :-). But he looks clearly dazed. He doesn't know whom to offer an explanation to about his coming to this class for the first time. He's scanning the room and I'm thinking to myself, "You have to be kidding me! Come on! I'm the only one dressed formally. Crack the code already". The students are looking at me holding back the urge to snicker. Finally I break the silence (read: his confusion).
When I first started teaching a class independently I was 23 years old. The confusion at that point is understandable. But I'm 32 now! One would think the age difference is substantive enough for a student to figure out that I'm the "head honcho" as it were in that configuration. Between wearing glasses and dressing formally I would have thought this wouldn't be a problem. Maybe I need to find some "old lady frames" like I did when I first started teaching - they didn't help much back then but I'm thinking now would be different. I think it's easier for young male professors - they can grow a beard as I know some folks who have. Nopes I don't want to grow a beard (!) but there's got to be some kind of other marker that younger female faculty members can adopt to avoid being mistaken for a student. I wonder if gender perceptions have something to do with this? Why do I say this? Because I don't think younger male faculty members run into the same problem as much as women do - at least the ones I've met.
Most people tell me I should be flattered that people still mistake me for a student. But an undergrad? Seriously?! I'm pretty sure I don't look that young - or so I think. I think I'll be flattered if this happens when I'm 45. For now, not so much.
In my morning class (I'm teaching 2 new preps this semester), I had 2 newbies walk in for the first time. Usually, I walk in right when class is beginning or a couple of minutes later. However, yesterday I had a DVD to set up for us to watch in class so I arrived early. There were a few students in there already so we started chatting about lots of different stuff. Enter NewKid#1 - he looks completely unsure if he's in the right place. We confirm that he is. He takes a seat. As I'm talking to the students, it's pretty obvious he realizes only then that I'm the professor. Umm I thought it was kind of obvious perhaps even self-evident. Oh well. We start class and NewKid#2 walks in as one of the students is in the midst of making a comment. NewKid#2 looks like he's just woken up and walked straight to class - not that I am being judgmental :-). But he looks clearly dazed. He doesn't know whom to offer an explanation to about his coming to this class for the first time. He's scanning the room and I'm thinking to myself, "You have to be kidding me! Come on! I'm the only one dressed formally. Crack the code already". The students are looking at me holding back the urge to snicker. Finally I break the silence (read: his confusion).
When I first started teaching a class independently I was 23 years old. The confusion at that point is understandable. But I'm 32 now! One would think the age difference is substantive enough for a student to figure out that I'm the "head honcho" as it were in that configuration. Between wearing glasses and dressing formally I would have thought this wouldn't be a problem. Maybe I need to find some "old lady frames" like I did when I first started teaching - they didn't help much back then but I'm thinking now would be different. I think it's easier for young male professors - they can grow a beard as I know some folks who have. Nopes I don't want to grow a beard (!) but there's got to be some kind of other marker that younger female faculty members can adopt to avoid being mistaken for a student. I wonder if gender perceptions have something to do with this? Why do I say this? Because I don't think younger male faculty members run into the same problem as much as women do - at least the ones I've met.
Most people tell me I should be flattered that people still mistake me for a student. But an undergrad? Seriously?! I'm pretty sure I don't look that young - or so I think. I think I'll be flattered if this happens when I'm 45. For now, not so much.
Friday, January 18, 2008
Ode to "The Fab Squad"
Nopes that isn't a remake of something from the 70s or 80s (although between the "squad" reference and the pseudonym under which I blog I don't blame any of you if the thought did cross your mind).
"The Fab Squad" includes two amazing women whom I've gotten to know in the last few years and who have become very dear friends of mine, Mi & Fr, and yours truly of course. What's "The Fab Squad" about?
Well, first I'm going to giggle because whilst growing up my better friends - as in people whom I loved unconditionally and trusted with my being - have always been men. Not exclusively necessarily, but primarily for sure. Over the last 5-10 years, however, I've gotten to know some amazing women whose brilliance and kindness always touches me. So it's kind of nice that I get to play "girlie girl" with ladies who I'm glad are my friends. Not that I was ever a tomboy - so far from it that we're talking about potentially discovering a whole other universe. But I always got along better with men - although that's food for another post.
So "The Fab Squad".
It all started last month when we read an article in the New York Times about embracing life as single women sans the resignation or merely as something to do until Prince Charming comes along. We labeled 2008 as the year that we celebrate our thirty-something fabulousness...and so "The Fab Squad" wasn't a far stretch from that. Well, not for us anyway :-).
Hopefully Mi & Fr will also chime in here....but here's my $0.03 on my own singlehood:
I think being single would bother me if I'd never been in a relationship in my life. That's thankfully taken care of! It's not that I don't care about meeting "The One" or that it's a non-thought. Hardly. But I refuse to let it become the bane of my existence. Does that make me strong? I don't know. All I know is that I'm unwilling to settle. By the by, I hate the phrase "settle down". I loathe it with a passion. It just implies like I'm resigning myself to a life that has no potential to become the "all" I want. Kind of like an opened bottle of Coke that's been sitting out overnight - it's Coke, but no fizz. And I want 'fizz'. Lots and lots of it. I want the bubbles to tickle my nose...anyone remember that tag-line from the old "Bubble-Up" commercials in Pakistan? As usual I digress.
I'm happy with my life (Mashallah, Knock on wood, Touchwood....am I missing anything? Hmm there's even a picture of garlic in the post prior to this one so I guess that takes care of warding away all evil ;-)!] But I do want the package - and there are days I do feel afraid that I won't get it....you know what I mean...the continued presence of loved ones I have now in my life, the husband, kids, the home that's my domain, a career in which I remain inspired to create and think no matter what I'm doing more specifically. A friend asked me the other day if I'd ever thought that I'll be alone for the rest of my life. As practical as it might have been as a question, I thought "Huh? What do you mean? Never." Honestly, I guess that's always a possibility and on my worst days I sometimes even wonder that it'll be that way. But I don't want it to be. And I firmly believe both in destiny and in being able to make things happen - and if a companion to love and be loved by is what I want then I will (Inshallah) get.
I was thinking the other day what's on my wishlist for 2008. Among lots of other things all of which have to do with living a balanced existence, I want to be able to love fearlessly again. Not that I'm paranoid or hesitant or unexpressive - just lately I seem to have had horrendous luck with men which has affected perhaps my modus operandi somewhat. Finding "The One" would be nice....I'm really more "Relationship Girl" than "Dating Girl". The Next One doesn't have to be "The One" per se but I refuse to put myself in the kind of dysfunctional relationship I've been in the last two times round. He's got to be good enough to be "The One" irrespective of where we end up. I guess what I'm trying to say but fumbling while trying to get there is that I think I'm in a place where I'm open to love again. Love that is enjoyable and delicious....heck even all-consuming and overwhelming in the way that it is when you meet someone who makes you feel deliriously happy...the kind when you're truly content in the moment in which you find yourself.
In the meantime, I'm stuck on "play"...no pauses for me thank you :-). Onwards, fellow "Fab-Squad"ders....and other 30+ single women. And to "The One" wherever you are....move your butt and get here coz I'd sure like to kiss you!
"The Fab Squad" includes two amazing women whom I've gotten to know in the last few years and who have become very dear friends of mine, Mi & Fr, and yours truly of course. What's "The Fab Squad" about?
Well, first I'm going to giggle because whilst growing up my better friends - as in people whom I loved unconditionally and trusted with my being - have always been men. Not exclusively necessarily, but primarily for sure. Over the last 5-10 years, however, I've gotten to know some amazing women whose brilliance and kindness always touches me. So it's kind of nice that I get to play "girlie girl" with ladies who I'm glad are my friends. Not that I was ever a tomboy - so far from it that we're talking about potentially discovering a whole other universe. But I always got along better with men - although that's food for another post.
So "The Fab Squad".
It all started last month when we read an article in the New York Times about embracing life as single women sans the resignation or merely as something to do until Prince Charming comes along. We labeled 2008 as the year that we celebrate our thirty-something fabulousness...and so "The Fab Squad" wasn't a far stretch from that. Well, not for us anyway :-).
Hopefully Mi & Fr will also chime in here....but here's my $0.03 on my own singlehood:
I think being single would bother me if I'd never been in a relationship in my life. That's thankfully taken care of! It's not that I don't care about meeting "The One" or that it's a non-thought. Hardly. But I refuse to let it become the bane of my existence. Does that make me strong? I don't know. All I know is that I'm unwilling to settle. By the by, I hate the phrase "settle down". I loathe it with a passion. It just implies like I'm resigning myself to a life that has no potential to become the "all" I want. Kind of like an opened bottle of Coke that's been sitting out overnight - it's Coke, but no fizz. And I want 'fizz'. Lots and lots of it. I want the bubbles to tickle my nose...anyone remember that tag-line from the old "Bubble-Up" commercials in Pakistan? As usual I digress.
I'm happy with my life (Mashallah, Knock on wood, Touchwood....am I missing anything? Hmm there's even a picture of garlic in the post prior to this one so I guess that takes care of warding away all evil ;-)!] But I do want the package - and there are days I do feel afraid that I won't get it....you know what I mean...the continued presence of loved ones I have now in my life, the husband, kids, the home that's my domain, a career in which I remain inspired to create and think no matter what I'm doing more specifically. A friend asked me the other day if I'd ever thought that I'll be alone for the rest of my life. As practical as it might have been as a question, I thought "Huh? What do you mean? Never." Honestly, I guess that's always a possibility and on my worst days I sometimes even wonder that it'll be that way. But I don't want it to be. And I firmly believe both in destiny and in being able to make things happen - and if a companion to love and be loved by is what I want then I will (Inshallah) get.
I was thinking the other day what's on my wishlist for 2008. Among lots of other things all of which have to do with living a balanced existence, I want to be able to love fearlessly again. Not that I'm paranoid or hesitant or unexpressive - just lately I seem to have had horrendous luck with men which has affected perhaps my modus operandi somewhat. Finding "The One" would be nice....I'm really more "Relationship Girl" than "Dating Girl". The Next One doesn't have to be "The One" per se but I refuse to put myself in the kind of dysfunctional relationship I've been in the last two times round. He's got to be good enough to be "The One" irrespective of where we end up. I guess what I'm trying to say but fumbling while trying to get there is that I think I'm in a place where I'm open to love again. Love that is enjoyable and delicious....heck even all-consuming and overwhelming in the way that it is when you meet someone who makes you feel deliriously happy...the kind when you're truly content in the moment in which you find yourself.
In the meantime, I'm stuck on "play"...no pauses for me thank you :-). Onwards, fellow "Fab-Squad"ders....and other 30+ single women. And to "The One" wherever you are....move your butt and get here coz I'd sure like to kiss you!
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
Welcome 2008: the spice test
Not exactly the post I'd planned to launch the new year off with but it'll have to do for now. Hope 2008 has gotten off to a great start for all and sundry...here's wishing that our loved ones and our blog-readers find everything that comforts, excites, and loves them in the new year.
Below my results for the spice test I mentioned. Not sure I like being described as stinky but the rest made me fairly happy.
Cheers all!
Below my results for the spice test I mentioned. Not sure I like being described as stinky but the rest made me fairly happy.
Cheers all!
Your Score: Garlic
You scored 50% intoxication, 100% hotness, 75% complexity, and 50% craziness!
You are Garlic!
No offence, but you stink. Pretty much everyone loves you, though. You're smart and pretty hot and you fit in with about any culture. You're a total cut-up; in fact, the more cut-up you get, the hotter you become. But be careful, when you get embarrassed, you turn really sweet.
| Link: The Which Spice Are You Test written by jodiesattva on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test View My Profile(jodiesattva) |
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