No soliciting please!

I wonder if it's a typically South Asian trait (since I have yet to encounter a non-South Asian who exhibits the kind of behavior this post is about and that annoys me to no end) to insist that one's own life experiences serve as T-H-E instructional manual for anyone supposedly (read: according to the one doling out unsolicited advice with a fair amount of belligerence/persistence/what have you) going through something in the same category of stuff, broadly speaking. If you go down this path, not only are you butting in without being invited to so much as pry but you're behaving like a complete ass as far as I'm concerned.

I'm not talking about recommending restaurants or dissertating advice or something in that vein --- that's always welcome :-). It's totally harmless and, in the case of something like grad school, probably a collective experience in a very different way than something like being in a relationship.

Rather what irks me has to do with life experiences that an individual might insist on shoving down someone else's throat as The Only Way to deal with the 'it' at hand. I don't know quite how to provide a neat definition but I can surely provide examples. 'It' may be suggesting that someone change their name because it might (and I mean might in the sense that this individual hasn't performed the appropriate calculation) numerologically or astrologically be responsible for their personal misfortune when the "someone" (yes, I do mean me) in question hasn't even so much as complained about her life or bemoaned her current single status ever as a "problem" or a "curse" or any other silly descriptive that comes to mind. Another possible 'it': comparing health issues as if they were the exact same thing. Sure issues can be similar like a headache for instance. But I'm willing to bet there's a world of difference when someone has had 3 migraines during a particular month because she's overworked that stopped once the work load lessened and she got back to her normal routine in terms of eating and sleeping habits when compared to someone who has experienced a migraine a few times every week for the last 15 years! That the person in the second instance insists that the two conditions are similar seems no less than bizarre to me.

Anyhoo, but I digress....didn't mean to lie down on the couch and report every incident in the last month that falls under the category of what annoys me :-).

I won't say I haven't been guilty of this behavior myself on occasion. More so when I was in my mid-teens than in the last few years. In fact, it's something I keep a strict check on - or rather, my parents checked it for me and I couldn't be more grateful because I truly believe that it's highly obnoxious to shove what you think is a solution to a so-called problem down somebody's throat in two kinds of situations. First, when the person whom you're giving the advice to hasn't asked for it because she or he doesn't perceive a particular situation as an issue. Second, and considerably different from the previous one, is when the person does share a particular problem with you but instead of listening to what she or he has to say you end up bulldozing even the remotest possibility of letting that person unload by comparing apples and oranges (read: your experience to theirs). Sure, both are fruits but taste, look, smell, and feel completely different.

So pardon me if I don't want to blame my name as the root of all evil and misfortune on my name; even if it were true I'd rather respect the love with which my parents named me and stick to my faith in God because I truly believe that things work out for the best (Inshallah) even if the journey has some turbulence along the way. And pardon me if I can't be your Siamese twin and be plagued with the same bacterial infection because the ouch in my tummy is all gone. And, especially, don't just pardon me but also smack me if I behave the same way. And please, please, please remember - no soliciting on my premises, thank you!