Maybe because I'm currently in my 6th year of PhDing these panic attacks of sorts are more frequent and definitely stronger. I'm sick of shelving so many of my dreams and things I want to do because I need to focus on the dissertation. Perhaps it'd be easier to just hit pause but then again I actually want to finish as well. Oscillating between these two makes a perfect recipe for anxiety, nervousness, and a whole lot of frustration at the sheer endlessness of it so much of which feels like it is beyond my control but probably isn't - at least with respect to the extent of it.
So The Plan for The Summer (decode "The Summer" - it is what every academic looks forward to because it's the time of year when you supposedly have no other responsibilities other than finishing your current project...true but the desire to go out and play in the sun is overwhelming...also the memory of undergraduate days when summer meant taking it easy makes it worse...still do we must) is to just get done. Or, to use a phrase I coined last week in place of the Nike reference, "just pork and sex it" but that's another post. For now, the post-it below is my personal mantra.
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