July 2, 2007

Dissertating thought: IMHO one of the biggest hurdles I face everyday when it comes to working on The Dissertation Project is sitting down to write. Heck...it's a challenge after taking a break for lunch. It's gorgeous and sunny outside and I can think of a million other things that would provide me with nothing less than instant gratification and that would be less painful than pressing my brain to think a thought through all the way instead of stopping when my head begins to hurt. Fellow dissertators and writers will be more than familiar with this - it's not really a headache but more of an "Oh my God am I overwhelmed and see this developing into a billion directions but don't quite know how the dots connect or which dots to put in to connect in the first place" feeling. But I digress. Point being that it's so difficult to do and having done it repeatedly (which is putting it mildly) doesn't quite make it easier. Possibly because there is no clear-defined end in sight. In that every productive writing day means finding the will and ability to repeat it endlessly. And you don't quite switch off unlike some other kind of work which has a relatively short-term duration with a defined beginning and end. In other words, tough as nails. Some days are good, some days are bad, others rock in terms of output but every single day means waking up and finding it in your self to face a blank screen that must be filled up. Hmm....or is this just me and my id? Sure hope not.

I also wonder if it's akin to giving birth like everyone says....the process of active labor is rarely fun but you look upon your offspring with pride and joy. Granted my "little bundle of joy" won't have that nice baby smell nor will it have the smile that makes all the sleepless nights and heartache pale in comparison. But hopefully there will be something about this, as others say, that will feel at least somewhat magical at the end. Check back with me in a couple of months and I'll have my answer to that one (Inshallah).

Ciao for now!