It's students and papers like this that are continuing to sap my energy. How's that for an opening sentence? I'd rant but I really need to go to sleep to wake up bright and early tomorrow morning. For now, the short version is that I have 2 horribly racist kids in my morning class on religion in contemporary global politics. That they're disruptive makes this particularly problematic. We've had a verbal explosion in class and students have complained about their behavior. I've tried to tackle it and the class discussions seem to be working better now that I've explicitly addressed their disruptive behavior after repeated attempts of steering them subtly. Of course, although I loathe pessimism, I'm being realistic when I say that this is no guarantee that this will stick. Their written work, on the other hand, continues to be ranty rather than analytical. That they continue to be in denial about this is making this all the more challenging in terms of dealing with them. Am I up to the challenge? Yes - and I also don't think I have a choice so I guess I'm not up to it because I'm dedicated or committed but because I'm trying to conduct myself professionally. Am I dreading tomorrow? Yes - because I've returned everything with feedback and these kids are going to be disgruntled. One of them has already made an appointment to come and see me. That both of them have a tendency to get loud and agitated means I'm really not looking forward to this. One of my colleagues asked if I've been feeling fearful for my safety. I didn't know how to answer that one. I think I'll be okay but I am somewhat fearful given the kinds of opinions these students have expressed and their general behavior. I am literally counting days till the semester is over and I'm done with my present teaching commitment. It's been the most bizarre mix of the best and worst students I've encountered since I started teaching in 1999. I've handled difficult students before but it's an entirely different ballgame when they spout venomous hatred for your kind repeatedly by which I mean in terms of faith, gender, and age.
As much as I detest grading for being so time-consuming, one of the things that frustrates me most about the academic life is that some students aren't there to learn and it's hard not to take it personally when you put in so much effort to help their learning process. I think it's easier to deal with if they're sitting there tuned out but not so much if the manner in which they engage is inappropriate and unproductive.
So I'm apprehensive about tomorrow. Particularly, 11 am - 2 pm is going to be nerve-wracking and frustrating...color me despondent about this :-(. Although my afternoon class is fantastic so I guess the day will get better.
The great news that has me genuinely excited about tomorrow: my grandparents are flying in from Pakistan and I can't wait to see them.
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I hope it went well for you. May I offer two comments that might provide some context?
1) The purpose of educational institutions is to extinguish what ever might be left of a student's curiosity. This is the primary purpose of the K to 12 education. In college we are final front. If by any chance there is in love of learning left, then our job is to signal an alarm and then surgically remove that love. This is why we are called doctors. My point: it helps to remember that we are trying to teach victims. Student alienation has to be the starting point of our encounter. With this in mind, it becomes possible to make their alienation the subject of discussion and the source of their own productive resistance to their self-alienation.
2) Bullies, whether in the form of empires or students, secretly want one thing. They want to be defeated. At best they want others to draw clear boundaries. Clear boundaries help them to negotiate their tendency to overspill their narcissism. Once they receive some help with containment, they can begin to retrieve what has been missing in their lives -- others that they cannot assimilate. In this way they can begin to find both themselves and others who can recognize them as limited but worthwhile. My point: it is not about you as a teacher but about their inability to directly ask for your help in containing them. Once you can read their silent desire for containment, you can speak directly to their desire and bypass all the bullshit.
Not that this is easy. Not that I can do it. But it might help to be armed with a theory.
Griping and complaining (e.g. yours) is often a request for conceptual tools, no?
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