Feeling rather un-bionic

So I guess I ended up jinxing it. Or I'm just plain tired and am looking for a more meaningful excuse than being unable to work.

I've been working hard so I don't feel guilty about not having clocked a single minute on my dissertation thus far today. But I am feeling anxious - and that's making the "I don't want to write" feeling worse.

On days like these I wonder why I was drawn to all of this because I enjoy thinking and writing. I don't enjoy it all the time.

Or perhaps this is how I get when I'm starting to work on a chapter because it all seems fuzzy.

Lots of possible be-'causes' I guess...I just wish I could work. I could take a mental health day but I don't really feel like taking time off because I wish I could just work. Hmm perhaps just wishing it will make it happen, yes?

Well I guess I still have the day left...I could give it a shot. I think I'm really worn out though because I've been at it rather maniacally - at this point I'm literally dreaming my dissertation or to-do list connected to the dissertation. So I wake up already exhausted to be honest.

Hmm I can't even seem to write a straight rant. I'll let you know tomorrow if I was able to work.