Monday, October 02, 2006

I wonder how they got on with it..

I have never been a fan of porn. This may come as a surprise to my male comrades, but I am being honest. I have watched it, and owned it. I have sat there and watched it intensely- you know what I mean. But porn has always left something to wish for. Like all the porn in the world put together would probably not be able to make me watch the whole tape (or cds, dvds, mpegs and what have you) more than once. This probably just suggests that my disposition towards porn is not obsessive, but there still is some charm in porn, mind you. That charm lasts a few minutes (ahem!) and that's it.

Occasionally, when I think about the erotic moments in my life, most of my naughty thoughts are triggered by some of the stupidest of movie scenes. I am not joking. For instance, while watching Sleepless in Seattle and that last scene on top of the Empire State Building, I wondered how the two of them got on afterwards... How did they actually make the most of being "sleepless in Seattle" while they were in midtown Manhattan on the 5th Avenue?

"Would you like me to seduce you?" is perhaps the most suggestive and seductive yet comforting line I have ever heard. I mean just the tone of it makes you so comfortable that you can say anything from "Hmmm... yes please and now!” to “Can we do it tomorrow? Not feeling too good today.” I first heard this line in a George Michael song, ironically. And when I watched The Graduate a week later I could not stop thinking about how Mr. Hoffman would have gotten on with it all? Although, this time the movie did show him getting on with it a little bit, but my imagination still ran slightly away from safe quarters. Even now when I think of this scene, I can not help but hum "Here is to you Mrs. Robinson" with thoughts that Simon and Art surely did not have in their minds when they sang this song.

I have realized curiosity has been a major trigger of thoughts not so healthy in my life. I remember once, in the absence of any sexual orientation during my mid-to-late teenage years, I ordered a book on sex education that was being distributed free of charge by an Anglican Church somewhere in Australia. I don’t remember which part down under it was but it is one where they do not play any cricket, I think Darrel Hair comes from there.

Nevertheless, the book landed at my place in Karachi three months after I requested a free delivery. After carefully reading it one day, I conveniently forgot to hide it and left it by my bedside, obviously to be later discovered by everyone in my family. They kindly refused to ever mention it to me and put the book on my pillow to suggest that my dark secrets had been revealed! It was, and still is, one of the most embarrassing moments in my life. And hush, we did not and still do not ever talk about it.

But here is my point, erotic scenes in the movie are far more exciting then any hardcore porn in the world. I have been living with this philosophy for so long that I would not debate this any further here and will move on to not talking about porn.

The movie scenes carry a sense of intimacy, in addition to their exotic nature. Some of my all-time favorite ones would be the ones everyone would usually suspect. But apart from the more explicit ones, there is a whole list of scenes that have that curiosity factor, wanting to see something happen but not actually seeing it.

Did you ever think how sacred the life in bed would have been for Amitabh and Jaya Bhaduri in Abhi Maan? Tere mere milan ki yeh raina, naya koi gul khilae gi... You may not like me for it, but yes but I did also think about Shahnaz Shaikh and Asif Raza Mir in An Kahi.... cute couple you have to admit! Yes, and of course falling in absolute lust with Zeenat Aman in Qurbani? I mean holding back some of the emotions while watching it was a big sacrifice in itself. Ham tumhe chahte hain aise…

By this time, you probably think I am a pervert bastard. I am not, I beg your pardon. I am just being honest. And you know what, if it is not real life, it is the imitation of real life that excites you the most.

I work in broadcast media.

4 comments:

Zakooti of Abooboo said...

see the thing is, most men never really respond to the act of "what if.." or what happend next. For that matter, Shahnaz Shaikh and Shakeel in An Kahi, is about two people, so closely confined in a space, and the suggestive-ness, if you will, makes it all the more sexy. Or even in Amar Prem, where i always have seen stark similarities to "Love in the time of Cholera", where the lovers are never even touch one another in description, but spend thier entire lives in throes of passion. But, i must say, a male, a pakistani male (which in my books by far is another specie to deal with..) I've never come across that has the responsive bone (no pun intended) for subtle sexiness. So kudos to you.. I am pleasently surprised, i've never known a man to say Porn doesn't just do it for him.

Like for an instance just while we talk ponder on paki men.. a girlfriend and I were discussing about how different it is to intimate with a pakistani male vs. any other male, because you, as a paki woman have to play the choee-moee, I've never done this before drama because of the fear "being experienced" (which could just even mean the chick knows how to kiss), that labels you as a Probable Slut, hence, docking points off you for being a Girl One Could Consider a Relationship With.

Pakistani men a different species all together, and require a strategy like no other. And I've gone off on a tanget. But if we're back on Subtlety = Erotisicm, i would reccomend watching the scene in Bandit Queen, when he pulls Seema Biswas away from the firing range, and she's angry with him, they're pushing and pulling, and it looks like they are fighting, but that 60 second cut in the movie, embarks a much passion enduced twosome.

Too much commenting.

Mamun said...

I agree... but sometimes porn with a storyline works... also it's Abhimaan, one word, and you meant Tanhaiyan-asif raza mir and shahnaz shaikh... in ankahi it was her and shaikh/shakeel. although speaking of Shakeel, i can not help but wonder how the sex was with him and saleem nasir in aangan terha. did they have a three some with bushra, or a foursome with durdana butt? :) man am perverted. hehe

Bionic-Woman said...

Mamun: LOL! But I doubt I'll ever be able to watch Aangan Terha again ;-(!

Asad: Yup you are the "atypical" male - Pakistani or otherwise. There are some movies that always leave me wanting more in the sense that I'd like to know what happened after Meg & Tom left the Empire State Building. The quintessential romantic scene from a movie for me is from something more recent: "Hum Tum" where the two characters, who have become really good friends, pretend to play-act an arranged marriage scenario and end up in this "maybe we're more?" moment. Incoming thought on the intersection between movies and real life but instead of rambling in the comments I'm posting it on the blog :-).

Anonymous said...

agree with u, and must agree with the other comments, that i, too, am pleasantly surprised to hear u say this, being a desi male etc... quite pleasant..
and i so-agree with the whole subtlety bit.. the eroticism comes from knowing the characters and feeling what they would have felt like, being together.. almost like being in someone else's skin.. something like a cross between role-playing and voyeurism, but somehow more connected with feelings than both..
and re: zakooti's comment above re: desi women having to be 'sati-savitri' i'm-being-physical-with-u-but-dont-usually-do-this-with-other-guys to play along with the desi male mentality, i SO know what you mean.. *sigh*