Nopes that isn't a remake of something from the 70s or 80s (although between the "squad" reference and the pseudonym under which I blog I don't blame any of you if the thought did cross your mind).
"The Fab Squad" includes two amazing women whom I've gotten to know in the last few years and who have become very dear friends of mine, Mi & Fr, and yours truly of course. What's "The Fab Squad" about?
Well, first I'm going to giggle because whilst growing up my better friends - as in people whom I loved unconditionally and trusted with my being - have always been men. Not exclusively necessarily, but primarily for sure. Over the last 5-10 years, however, I've gotten to know some amazing women whose brilliance and kindness always touches me. So it's kind of nice that I get to play "girlie girl" with ladies who I'm glad are my friends. Not that I was ever a tomboy - so far from it that we're talking about potentially discovering a whole other universe. But I always got along better with men - although that's food for another post.
So "The Fab Squad".
It all started last month when we read an article in the New York Times about embracing life as single women sans the resignation or merely as something to do until Prince Charming comes along. We labeled 2008 as the year that we celebrate our thirty-something fabulousness...and so "The Fab Squad" wasn't a far stretch from that. Well, not for us anyway :-).
Hopefully Mi & Fr will also chime in here....but here's my $0.03 on my own singlehood:
I think being single would bother me if I'd never been in a relationship in my life. That's thankfully taken care of! It's not that I don't care about meeting "The One" or that it's a non-thought. Hardly. But I refuse to let it become the bane of my existence. Does that make me strong? I don't know. All I know is that I'm unwilling to settle. By the by, I hate the phrase "settle down". I loathe it with a passion. It just implies like I'm resigning myself to a life that has no potential to become the "all" I want. Kind of like an opened bottle of Coke that's been sitting out overnight - it's Coke, but no fizz. And I want 'fizz'. Lots and lots of it. I want the bubbles to tickle my nose...anyone remember that tag-line from the old "Bubble-Up" commercials in Pakistan? As usual I digress.
I'm happy with my life (Mashallah, Knock on wood, Touchwood....am I missing anything? Hmm there's even a picture of garlic in the post prior to this one so I guess that takes care of warding away all evil ;-)!] But I do want the package - and there are days I do feel afraid that I won't get it....you know what I mean...the continued presence of loved ones I have now in my life, the husband, kids, the home that's my domain, a career in which I remain inspired to create and think no matter what I'm doing more specifically. A friend asked me the other day if I'd ever thought that I'll be alone for the rest of my life. As practical as it might have been as a question, I thought "Huh? What do you mean? Never." Honestly, I guess that's always a possibility and on my worst days I sometimes even wonder that it'll be that way. But I don't want it to be. And I firmly believe both in destiny and in being able to make things happen - and if a companion to love and be loved by is what I want then I will (Inshallah) get.
I was thinking the other day what's on my wishlist for 2008. Among lots of other things all of which have to do with living a balanced existence, I want to be able to love fearlessly again. Not that I'm paranoid or hesitant or unexpressive - just lately I seem to have had horrendous luck with men which has affected perhaps my modus operandi somewhat. Finding "The One" would be nice....I'm really more "Relationship Girl" than "Dating Girl". The Next One doesn't have to be "The One" per se but I refuse to put myself in the kind of dysfunctional relationship I've been in the last two times round. He's got to be good enough to be "The One" irrespective of where we end up. I guess what I'm trying to say but fumbling while trying to get there is that I think I'm in a place where I'm open to love again. Love that is enjoyable and delicious....heck even all-consuming and overwhelming in the way that it is when you meet someone who makes you feel deliriously happy...the kind when you're truly content in the moment in which you find yourself.
In the meantime, I'm stuck on "play"...no pauses for me thank you :-). Onwards, fellow "Fab-Squad"ders....and other 30+ single women. And to "The One" wherever you are....move your butt and get here coz I'd sure like to kiss you!
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5 comments:
Whenever you do have time to look for Mr. Right, consider Match.com. I'm a walking advertisement!
The secret is to never meet the guy for a date the first time, or you'll waste A LOT of time--only agree to meet them for coffee!
All praise to a luscious existence in singlehood!! Although I've found my way to the other program in the Matrix, I still think back to what an amazing singlehood I had. Live it up big girl!
Now, as to match.com, you really need to go into that like a big adventure. I did it once not because I needed more men on my team but because my housemate wanted to try it out and so I went along for moral support. My experience? You're gonna meet SEVERAL who are just a step off. I personally prefer being able to sniff them out before making myself available, although I've been told that the law of attraction can work through any mechanism you wish. The important thing is to be truly ready and to open yourself up at a soul level.
You would be a more-than-luscious partner. Know that and always keep that point up high knowing that you'll draw the right one to the rani. ;->
Hey--thanks for the email promotion on this :) Unlike Jenny and Big Gurl, I have no actual reccommendations (typical, eh?), but all the best for your adventures. Remember, take it easy (again, typical from me!) and it'll all sort itself out in the end.
Jenny, BG, and Priya: thanks for visiting and chiming in.
J: your current state of married bliss (touchwood) is surely a good walking and talking advertisement for Match.com. For a whole set of other reasons (which I think is more an in-person chat) I remain a tad skeptical of the mechanism in general when it comes to myself.
BG: "The Rani" thanks you for the blog comments and the e-mail, especially the flattery. I think you're absolutely right to point out the the other side of the Matrix comes with its own sets of issues - or let's call them adventures as well, yes?
P: I tend to believe things (read: life) falls into place as well.
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