So the chapter I would have been ecstatic to finish yesterday is going to eat up all of today and, yes let's be realistic, a decent chunk of tomorrow unless I truly develop some bionic dissertating skills that I currently lack.
No I'm holding the perfectionism at bay so that's not it. Perhaps I'm just too optimistic with my estimations of how long it'll take me to finish something just because I'm so eager to no longer be dissertating. And in that eagerness I forget to allow myself the bad day where I don't want to dissertate because my brain no longer wants to process this darn thing or because I have the flu or because we have guests or just like that. Or maybe the estimation is realistic at the time but as I write those what happens is that new ideas (I used to call them green points aka my own little flashes of intellectual wonder - or so I like to think - but on the days they end up making me spend more time writing I'm less than fond of them while I also love them...sigh...ambivalence) pop into my head and I know they'd improve the argument and make it more substantive.
Either way you look at it, for better or worse, it's taking me longer than I had hoped to finish this chapter. That I'm working to a deadline (nopes I refuse to share it with the blogosphere right now because I don't want to jinx it) makes me anxious when things take extra days. It's a self-enforced deadline and it's connected to being able to take a vacation - so it is hard and fast in that I really deserve the latter and am craving it.
So back to the proverbial drawing board. Coz it ain't getting done by me blogging away :-). I'll be back!
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2 comments:
Ugh, I so remember that "I should be getting this done, but I CAN'T DO IT!" Hang in there :)
Thanks for the ongoing support Julie :-)
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