Why a Ph.D?

I've thought about this before. I've even posted about it before - if not on this particular blog then elsewhere in the blogosphere. I've talked about it with many of our readers here at LTLWI. But I don't think I've ever really had the perspective (being in the thick of things) or the courage to admit what I'm about to share right now.

This is going to sound incredibly self-indulgent for someone who isn't going to have a trust fund kick in. But it is the truth.

I did this because I love to think and write. I love being able to produce a tight narrative - one that moves people or forces them to think. [Relevant aside: I will add here that I love to write but not necessarily dissertate - and no I won't elaborate on that until I'm done with PhDing - not for any other reason but I just don't think I need to process it and risk a crisis of thought in a swirling vortex of anything remotely negative.]

I was able to do it for these reasons entirely because of my parents' support. Their objective for me as their offspring as far as education/schooling was concerned was that they wanted me to become an educated person capable of thinking. To them, college was a place where one went to learn how to think rather than be trained in a particular vocation. I respect and value their thoughts; more than that I love them for subscribing to this notion instead of being typical Pakistani/South Asian parents who can only see their kids growing up as doctors or lawyers or engineers. I love that they gave me the freedom to be able to use my brains. And this whole PhDing has been the ultimate space to nurture that kind of experience - this is not to say that that is it's only reality but it certainly is what the whole endeavor is about...so long as you find the right people or seek the right people to sustain the ideal.

And so, while I'm not exactly done - although I'm close but sometimes proximity can present itself as an overwhelming distance - I know that I would do it over. Well perhaps not in exactly the same way but I, despite obstacles and frustrations, have loved the experience. And to be perfectly honest, that which aggravated me about this process and continues to is only so if I think I'm in it for other reasons. But when I manage to remain in touch with my 'real' reason for doing this, I'm grateful and thankful to have had this opportunity. And for anyone else thinking about pursuing this path for the same reason, and only this, then I'd highly recommend it.

Now, back to dissertating. I have to finish working on a chapter that's due July 11. Wish me luck.